“I’ve never been to therapy. What do you do?” / “Is this the same as my previous therapist?”

We sit, and we talk. That’s the basis.

My personal style is to guide but not structure sessions. I can give you a rough estimate as to how long a given concern may take to address based on your goals, and I can tell you sessions are 50-minutes in length, but I do not guarantee a certain number of sessions equals “success.” I do not have a strict agenda for our time. I may recommend certain topics, as shall you, and we may decide to tackle something specific at a specific time. However, I also have ample experience to know that situations arise, and the mind can lead us in unexpected directions. I go where clients lead, and tangents (provided some degree of relevance) are welcome; my stance is that if something is on your mind, it is worth our time to hear whatever you need to say.

As for the details behind all the talking, my primary approach can best be described as Existential-Psychodynamic Therapy.

“Existential? But Alexander, it’s been years since I did my treatise on Kierkegaard!”

That’s fine! In fact, you do not need to support or even be familiar with existentialism. While that philosophy’s ideas do provide some framework for the approach, existential therapy more generally refers to the attitude its practitioners take toward therapy. My main concern is your personal experience of existence – to explore your personal worldview / philosophy of life and how you engage with the challenges of living your life. I am not concerned with your personal philosophy in some effort to change it or to make it more existentialistic; I care what it is because it is what my client believes.

In this more philosophical vein, you can expect certain themes to arise due to their ubiquity in life. Regardless of what brings you to therapy, at least a few of the following are bound to be relevant. Perhaps they resonate with you already.

§  Life & Death

§  Connection & Isolation

§  Meaning & Meaninglessness

§  Stability

§  Personal Responsibility

§  Freedom

§  Choice

“What about that other part? Psycho…dynamo… what?”

Psychodynamic. You’ve surely heard some of the classic therapy tropes:

§  “Let’s talk about your childhood. Did you have a positive relationship with your parents?”

§  “Issues from your past could be affecting you now.”

§  “I can see you raising some resistance.”

§  “Defense mechanisms can be helpful yet harmful.”

§  “Your identity is very caught up in what others think of you.”

Yes, such topics are the bread and butter of psychodynamic therapy, but I ask you not to be convinced that’s all there is to it. Psychodynamic therapy does not have an embargo on these ideas, nor do I intend to spend all our time working together talking about when you dropped a cookie at age 5 ½.

All the above-stated items are likely to arise, albeit more naturally phrased, but only when our process dictates. My primary concern is your life in the present. Your past and ideas for the future are granted time when it becomes apparent that they are influencing your present decision-making.

The issues of identity and resistance are the more important. I will challenge you to reflect on your life critically because I want you to be confident that you believe in your life choices and why you make them, whatever they may be.

Therapy is challenging work that can be immeasurably valuable if you commit to it. If you leave therapy with enough self-assurance in your own identity and worldview, you can leave therapy and be your own therapist! I do not want to run you through manualized treatment protocols or make you feel tied to a diagnosis for life. I want you to be empowered to face any challenge that comes your way. (Though you are always welcome back if you feel it would help. 😊)